More responsibility at work, especially if it follows a promotion, is as exciting as it daunting...But what if it actually leads to a sense of decreasing control over your time, or your ability to function well in the new role? Saying no when you’re torn in all directions can be problematic.
Sadly, not every workplace culture includes strong respect for other people’s boundaries and preferred ways of working.
The ‘Stretched Too Thin’ chapter of Tessa West’s new book ‘Job Therapy’ makes some powerful observations about unrealistic workloads, their impact on individuals and teams, and on our own sense of resilience.
Often, when we’re interrupted at work, we’re doing it to ourselves. We can’t resist dealing with short-term (especially tech) distractions, even when we’re in the middle of precious flow time.
But in most cases, interruptions are not ones we choose. We’re typically at the mercy of other people’s untimely demands. It’s difficult to silence the lack-of-control feeling that comes with this.
We don’t always know how to navigate the power struggle…
Awareness is the starting point for boundary setting and healthy workplaces
‘Job Therapy’ makes the case for exploring our emotional responses and misperceptions at work. It reminds us that deeper self-awareness is a vital starting point for effective, productive relationships.
In 2020, when the working world was flipped by the pandemic, the concept of windowed working became more popular. The option of reconfiguring the working week to suit our personal preferences around workflow, concentration and optimal collaboration is a welcome boost for many.
But for some individuals in overstretched teams, even the best-intentioned ‘new’ working patterns aren’t relieving them of overwhelm or potential burnout.
What’s more, as the pandemic-era disruption feels further away, large companies are looking to restore the pre-pandemic order, increasingly, with mandates to return to the office full-time.
While overwork and overstretching are realities that span remote, hybrid and in-person working, this re-emerging trend in the corporate world won’t help torn employees feel any more in control of their time – possibly quite the opposite.
The courage to speak up, and the courage to listen
Ideally, a healthy workplace culture enables its employees to set a respected ‘no policy’ without fear of reprisals or unpleasantness from bosses and colleagues. But this kind of culture also relies on employees being willing to speak up, and not everyone is comfortable doing so.
Many people are afraid to set personal boundaries at work. If the workplace culture is not one where colleagues feel psychologically safe to express their needs, it will feel harder to speak out when feeling overworked or overwhelmed.
It might feel like a step too far with an unsympathetic boss, or when the entire team is clearly in same overworked boat as you. It may feel even harder for introverted personality types, although many confident team members could probably be better at it too, because confidence doesn’t always elicit the most suitable tone for a delicate situation.
The role of interpersonal super-skills
When we find ourselves regularly failing to complete our more meaningful daily tasks with flow and ease, and when we acknowledge that the lack of control over our time is largely due to external distractions, we need to pay close attention to our interpersonal skills.
This is the part we can control. Improving these skills is more likely to lead to better outcomes at work. When it comes to encouraging others to work with us in different or unexpected ways, we must first recognize and respect the differences in the communication styles of our colleagues.
Language and tone are everything (enter: Insights color energies!)
The most beneficial super skill at work is self-awareness.
Knowing how our 'good day' and 'bad day' behaviour is perceived by the people around us is the first step to creating positive change.
Without awareness of how we and our colleagues prefer to operate and communicate, we run the risk of being misunderstood, feeling unsupported and losing heart.
We must own the impact that our communication style has on our colleagues and seek workable ways to encourage them to work with us better so that we can find the ‘flow’ we need. We need to create applicable ways to empower others to work with us better.
This is where language and tone are so important.
What feels acceptable to one colleague might feel alien to the next. Maybe you (or the individuals you manage) are more introverted, pensive, less expressive types who sometimes feel unheard, especially when the chips are down.
Or perhaps, as more extroverted personalities, you leap out as vocal and opinionated even when a situation doesn’t always call for it. The key is to focus on how we state our needs, and how to make that resonate with the other person’s needs and perspective.
To do that, it helps if we know something about their values. Understanding our colleague’s leading color energies helps.
Granted, this might feel trickier if your boss or line manager is your opposite type. Contrasting personality types and contrasting (Insights) color energies can make what already feels like a significant power struggle feel even more challenging, especially when it comes to setting boundaries and asking for more time, space or understanding of how you want to work.
A way through that managers and team members can learn and practice
Boundaries are about you. They have to be, because you can’t change someone else’s behaviour.
The key is in being willing and able to flex your communication style (a huge asset regardless of seniority or status) to suit the individual and the situation. Yes, it can feel harder for a quieter, more junior colleague to be assertive with a loud, expressive manager, but it can be learned.
For example, a sensitive team member who leads with Earth Green energy might normally voice their needs very differently to how a boss who leads with Fiery Red operates. They may be concerned with harmony and diplomacy, reluctant to assert themselves if think they think it will cause ructions. But more often than not, Fiery Red colleagues welcome directness, clarity, priorities-talk and a focus on results. Framing your boundaries (and their reasons) in terms that speak to this, may bring a better reaction than you expect.
It’s not always straightforward. When dealing with less patient colleagues it might feel like a stretch for individuals with introverted Earth Green energy to be this assertive and ‘blunt’ about their needs, but if the interaction is polite and respectful, they’ll likely gain respect for speaking out.
Someone who leads with people-oriented Sunshine Yellow and wants to assert their boundaries with a process-oriented Cool Blue boss should keep their tone and reasons focused on efficiency, quality of work and rationale. It works best to focus less on emotions and more on logic, and be clear how their way of working will benefit the project and still pay attention to all the important details.
It pays to remember that some personalities lead with Thinking energy (typically Fiery Red and Cool Blue). They’re not being deliberately aloof, they simply want to get to the point without too much personal context or (what they perceive as) unnecessary scene-setting tangents. In contrast, when asserting ourselves with colleagues who lead with Feeling energy (Sunshine Yellow, Earth Green) we must appeal to their interpersonal preferences and highlight the benefits to the whole-team dynamic.
If you’d like to learn how we can help the people in your organization to communicate better through the language of color energy, drop us a line and let’s get started...
